Acceptance There is an alternative to being guarded.
By focusing on one’s sense of self-acceptance and self-worth, it feels less intimidating to share with others.
The threat of negative evaluation from others–such as being negatively perceived by your date–is the root of social anxiety, and is exacerbated in a dating setting.
Most of the time, anxious daters highly overestimate how harshly their partner is judging them.
The foundation of ACT is learning to accept that anxiety and internal struggle is a part of living fully, and that leading a life guided by personal values and willingness to experience life–as opposed to anxiety-based avoidance and decision making–is ultimately what frees one from the constraints of anxiety.
The researchers found that upon follow up of a 12-week ACT and exposure program, the participants reported increased quality of life, decreased avoidance and reduced anxiety.
They assume the other person thinks the worst of them and is focusing on their flaws and mistakes.
This is usually because people who are socially anxious tend to have lower self-esteem and make automatic negative assumptions about themselves.
Rife with opportunities for awkward conversations and infinite unknown factors — – dating often is seen as overwhelmingly scary and decidedly unappealing.
This type of anxiety and shyness leads to avoidance of meeting new people, as well as a sense of isolation and hopelessness about the prospect of finding a suitable partner.
Despite the high incidence of anxiety disorders, adults often don’t seek treatment until years of suffering with the disorder have passed, if they seek treatment at all.